Picture pioneers pushing farther and farther into the Badlands of the American West with native Indians serving as scouts. As they kept the monotonous trek, they began to hear the rhythmic sound of beating drums in the direction they were headed. A few of the scouts traded nervous glances, however the lead scout convinced the explorers nothing was amiss. The following day the sound of drums became more emphatic, but the lead scout assured the nervous white men. On the third day, much to everyone's terror, the pounding drums became almost deafening. On some sort of unknown cue, the drums simultaneously ceased. The terrified scouts flung down their packs and fled into the wilderness. When the captain queried the lead scout he was told, "Never have fear as long as drums make sound. When drums stop, very bad sign: next come bagpipe solo". 

Luke 23:44-46

44

NIV

On a lonely hill side more than 2000 years ago, the darkest day in history revealed itself. The Lord of the universe was put to death by those who could not understand. I do not condemn those who did this because if He lived today, we would also be condemning him to death ourselves. His message was too radical for the time then and it is still radical today. Through his death, we all had a chance at life.

As we enter this Easter season, let us remember it is not about the Fuzzy Rabbit, the eggs or the new hats. It is about the redemptive power of the Lord Jesus Christ. In Him all things are made complete.

The past couple of weeks have been a real struggle in the McKennon household. The sudden and unexpected death of a friend, the long hours at the office and my internal struggle as our church considers a merger have all at various points gotten me down. In and of themselves, these things could of been easily handled but taken together have caused hunched shoulders and sleepless nights.

During this same time, a massive cold front came through Georgia that brought rains and colder temperatures. The splashes of color in our front yard brought by the tulips we had planted were even affected by this. The tulips has all dropped over and closed up only revealing a small spot of their splendor. It was if they were mourning the passing of spring and drawing into themselves. However, when the sun returned, the plants perked up and the flowers heads exploded open again revealing their true nature and beauty.

I think that life is a lot like this. When the storms and cold come we draw within ourselves hiding the beauty within. Hiding the fire and the passion that we have from all observation and it appears that all hope is lost. Then with the returning of the sun all things look brighter and we are ready to face the day. 

Psalm 19:1 speaks of this with the story of God’s creation revealing His glory to all that will look. I hope that as I continue through life’s journeys that I continue to see the hope and the blessing in all things and that when the skies are their darkest and all hope appears lost that I look into the things around me and see Gods steady hand at work that the hope that is within me springs forth to share with those around me.

A couple of years ago when I first got into wearing the ancient garment called the kilt, I could not believe how expensive they were. The kilt alone can cost upwards of $1500 depending on the tartan and he maker.  I am much to “Scottish” to pay those kind of prices so I looked for alternatives. Many of the kilts that you see in these pages are much, much less expensive than that.

Another item that goes with the kilt is the hose. Cheap kilt hose can run $25 for three pair or up to $200 for the pairs that Scottish dancers wear with their kilts. Again, being a bit of a cheapskate, I looked for an alternative to these costs. One of the ladies at my church does knitting, so I asked her to knit me a pair of hose. After much discussion and shared patters, the pair to the left came into being. Deb Brown did an excellent job on these and I expect to wear them for years and years to come. I think the set off this casual outfit quite well, don’t you?

My new MacKinnon red kilt came in yesterday and I got a chance to wear it out today. Man, what a great kilt. I was a little dubious about this particular tartan, but Matt Newsome made another masterpiece here and I think this is going to be a great summertime kilt.

A couple of days ago I wrote a small piece on getting back into the kilt after a long absence.  I also wrote at that time that a long ago ordered kilt from Matt Newsome was nearing completion. Today a red, white and blue truck pulled into my cul-de-sac and delivered this box.

With trembling hands, I signed the register taking ownership of said box. As it was the middle of the work day, said box sat on my kitchen counter. All afternoon the box kept calling my name. With subtle whispers of “Open me!” and “Come on, you know you want to!”. After many seconds of resistance, I finally caved in and carefully performed the required surgery to open the box (insert sounds of ripping cardboard and shouts of glee here). After precision insertions I was able to carefully extract the contents of the box.

Contained within was the piece of artistry shown to the left. Another box-pleated kilt from Matt Newsome. I, of course, spent a couple of minutes just fondling the fabric and admiring the craftsmanship displayed in work of art in tartan. Again, the kilt started to call, “Try me on!”. So I strapped it around my waist and the fit is perfect!  (It did look rather silly having this on over jeans, but there it is)

Since this has come in, I have made my attire choice for tomorrow… And I bet you can’t guess what it will be!

I guess I need to register with the Georgia department of agriculture. For the last couple of weekends, I have been attempting to run a disc golf tournament for my local church. This event is to raise funds for our global missionaries and for a chance for a group of guys to get out and be guys. Two weeks ago (Mar 14) I had to postpone this event due to rain. So this weekend (Mar 28) we tried again and you guessed it, more rain.  And not just rain this time, but thunderstorms.

For those of you counting, I claim to be responsible for 5 inches of rain this month!  I wonder if I can make a new living by scheduling these events around the country.  “Mr. Mac’s incredible rain machine!” has a ring to it.

April Showers bring May flowers!

One of the good things about all of the rain is that our spring flowering shrubs are really liking the moisture. Above are a couple of photos from my front yard. This is one of my favorite times of year with all of the color.  Next comes the dogwoods and azaleas!

Before my trip to India I used to wear the kilt 3-4 days a week. After spending 6 months overseas, I kind of got out of the habit. I would still occasionally look at the kilts lined up in my closet wistfully and then head to the blue jeans. Months would go by and I would say to myself, “it is just too much hassle to strap one of these on”.

Well, that all changed a couple of days ago. Last spring I placed an order for a kilt with Matt Newsome at the Scottish Tartans Museum and then promptly forgot about it. A couple of days ago, Matt sends me an email letting me know that the MacKinnon red kilt that I had placed the order for was getting ready to be started. This started the feelings again and I went into the closet and looked at my old friends hanging there. Each of them were calling out to me, the Black Watch, the Lamont Ancient, the XMarks, the MacKinnon hunting and Red 1842 variant, the Isle of Skye all calling out to me. My head was filled with chants of “Pick me, Pick Me!!”

Oh the choices to make. The sporrans hanging in the closet with the fine sheen of dust of them from non-use. The kilt belts hanging there looking forlorn. The drawer full of kilt hose that were only worn in the winter for their warmth. All calling out, “Pick Me, PICK ME!!”

Finally, I succumbed and chose the Isle of Skye as my first foray back into the kilted world. Oh the joy! Oh the Freedom!! Why oh why had I gotten out of the habit??  Proudly strolling through the streets of Snellville. Shoulders back and chin high! Talking to the curious onlookers, trying hard not to laugh at those with the looks of shock on their face. I had completely forgotten just how much I enjoyed wearing this garment!

That was two days ago and I sit here typing this today wearing my MacKinnon hunting ancient kilt and just enjoying a beautiful spring day in middle Georgia. I think I will go for an afternoon stroll through our local botanical garden and just enjoy the day! It also has me thinking that there are four more kilts in the closet that need to be work in the next week or so. Just how long can I go without wearing pants? (and how long can I avoid my dogs noses??!!)

"Not that I am aware of dear." That was my honest answer said with a bit of confusion spreading across his face. "Why do you ask?" I enquire. "Well, the IRS says we owe them a bunch of money for last year and I figured the only reason they would do this is because you accepted an appointment to the cabinet."

Well, that was the conversation. The reality is that the IRS decided that all of our charitable deductions for 2007 were to be disallowed and we needed to pay the back tax, penalties and interest. The thing that is most amazing was the form letter that stated "if you agree with this, send it in. If not, please follow this 11 page process to dispute our findings."  So much for the presumption of innocence, huh? If they had even bothered to check our last few returns, they would see that these deductions are in line with what we had done in the past.

Oh well, I know that we have all of the documentation required to prove this, it is just a hassle.  I suspect this has to do with my time in India last year. But it is really the first time I have had to deal with the organization. I at least hope they give me the same options they have given our politicians. But, I expect not. 

Oh well, just one more thing to handle this week.

From the movie Caddyshack. The Bishop is playing in the rain.

I could break the Club record.
                  
You better come in until this blows over.
                   
So what do you think?
                  
I'd keep playing.
                  
I don't think the heavy stuff
will come down for a while.
                   
You're right.
                 
Anyway, the good Lord
would never disrupt...

...the best game of my life.
                
I'm infallible, young fella!
                
Come on! One more hole!
                 
Ratfarts!

After a really rough day yesterday I called up my buddy St. Paulie and asked if he wanted to go play a round of disc golf. You must understand that Paul is a good friend and did not even question the wisdom of going to play a round. why do I mention this? You see it was because it was raining at the time. Of course, it was not a real rain, but a Scottish Mist kind of rain. Just enough to make you wet and miserable, but not all at one time. Add to that that the temperatures were in the low 40’s and you have the chance to be really miserable.

This did not stop Paul and I from playing the round though. It was a great time just chatting about life in general and how stupid we were to be on the course. The banter kept up in this vein until we ran into another foursome on the course as well!!  I guess we are not as crazy as I thought we were, just more addicted.

The good news is that even after all of the rain, the squalls and the occasional gust of wind, I wound up shooting pretty close to my normal round at a +2. While I do not ‘RECOMMEND’ playing in the rain, it was good time spent with a good friend. Who cares about the weather at that point?

Flinging in the Rain

I'm flinging in the rain
Just flinging in the rain
What a glorious feelin'
I'm disc-ing again

On Saturday Bob and I went to fling a few discs at Lenora Church Park. Now this is not really so special until you realize that it had been raining most of the week. As I was sitting in my lounge chair at home I realized that the rain had stopped. Being somewhat bored I glanced at the weather channel to see if the rain was going to hold off for a while. Surprisingly, it appeared that we had about a 4 hour window where the rain was going to stop prior to the snow moving in. This made up my mind, it was time to go discing!  A couple of phone calls later and Bob agreed to meet me at the course.  The first thing we notice upon arriving at the course is that even with all of the rain this week, the course had drained fairly well. There are a couple of puddles here and there, but nothing we can’t play around. The second thing we notice is that we are not the only fools out there playing. There are at least a dozen other folks also trying to get a round in between the raindrops!

There is good news, bad news and a rather funny story as part of this day out. The good news is that I shot a 4 over for the day. That is fairly consistent with my normal round. The bad news, I shot a 6 on the first hole and tried to lose a brand new disc in the water.  The funny story is that one of us (who will remain nameless) found out that a mud hole is not a great place to go swimming after releasing a disc! Especially when you forget to bring a towel (Douglas Adams would be ashamed of us!)

Winter Stories

March 1st, 2009.  What a day for a snow fall to hit Georgia. Here I thought that the chance for snow this year was over! I mean, we have had temps in the 70’s already and the daffodils and red buds are blooming for goodness sakes! Oh well, I guess that we really need the moisture.

We received about 5 inches of snow yesterday and overnight. I expect by the end of today it will all be gone! That is just the way I like it. One good snowfall, a few photos taken, and then it melts away.  There are some good things about living in Georgia!

Travelling Salesmen.

Back in the 50’s and 60’s it was not unusual in the U.S. to have a salesman knock on your door trying to sell you things you didn’t know you needed. Things such as cleaning brushes, vacuums, encyclopedias and the like. This is not a common occurrence any longer and other than the girl scouts selling their cookies, you very rarely get an unsolicited knock on your door. Well, I had a new one this week. I had an investment banker knock on my door attempting to sell his services!! How bad does the economy need to be to have a person who manages peoples investments go door to door?  Will the wonders never cease?

(AP – Barrow County, Georgia) In a tragic case of mistaken identity, the destroyer USS St. Paulie was sunk off the coast near Fort Yargo yesterday. According to news report, Captain Rose was navigating his ship through treacherous, tree-lined, waters when the incident occurred. A single salvo was fired from the fort that struck amidships and caused the ship to veer hard left and sink just off shore. When contacted, the navy could not confirm this loss nor could they say why a destroyer was being used in a land locked lake. Fortunately there was no loss of life, just a loss of a valued disc. 

In other news, famed explorer Mike McKennon was reportedly lost in a sink hole yesterday. Reports have it that he was searching the woods for the fabled yellow leopard when he strayed off the beaten path and was swallowed hole. Witnesses state that one moment he was trekking through the woods whistling show tunes and the next moment there was complete silence and he was gone. Searchers, combing the woods, have reported no signs of the famed explorer but report occasionally hearing ‘76 trombones’ in the distance.

When I first got into disc golf, I swore to myself that I would keep it casual and not get into competitive play. I wanted the game to remain just that, a game. I had no real desire to turn it into a sport where you are competing against others. I wanted to just compete against myself and show personal progress of getting better. Well, that was the plan.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend invited me to play in a local Ice Bowl. These are events held from January 6th to February 25th each year across the United States, Canada and Europe. These events are played for local charities and are a way for the local disc golfers to support their community. In our case, the charity was for the Friends House of McDonough. With this in mind, I went ahead and signed up.

As the event got closer and closer, I spent more and more time on the local course getting ready to play 36 holes in one day. This also entailed travelling to other local courses to work on aspects of my game that my local course does not provide (IE, throwing through trees). The other aspect of this tournament that I was a little worried about was the weather. You can see from the graphic above the mottos of the event “No Wimps, No Whiners”.  Now living in Georgia, you would not think that weather would be a problem. However, the last few weeks have had days where the temps did not get above freezing, so I was a little concerned. This was soon solved by finding out that two layers of pants and three shirts kept me fairly warm and also fairly mobile.  Whew, what a lot of set up to tell the next part of the tale.

Friday, 6 February

With the tournament starting at 7 am, I decided to travel down to Stockbridge Georgia a day early and get a hotel room and save a 1.5 hour drive the next morning. This also allowed me to have dinner with two other friends who had travelled down for the tournament as well. We had a great time at the Longhorn Steakhouse and shot the bull (cow??) for a while. After dinner I went back to the hotel for what I thought was going to be a good nights sleep prior to getting up early the next morning. Unfortunately for me, there was a newlywed couple in the next room that serenaded me until close to midnight and again about 5 am the next morning. Oh well, who needs sleep, right?

Saturday, 7 February

5am??  How in the world did it get to be 5am already?  Oh well, I was going to get up at 6 anyway.  Yawn, head to the shower to brush my hair and wash my teeth… Wait a minute, did I just do that?  Get dressed for the weather (in the mid 30’s), pack up the meager belongings I brought with me… Head downstairs to checkout and grab a bite….  Man, that free breakfast does not look appetizing… I wonder if there is something along the way?  McDonalds?  Not great, but a good start.  Hmm, Eggs, Sausage, Hash Browns and a biscuit.  I am now ready to tackle the course.

Ok, enough silliness. As I had never played in one of these before, I had no idea what to expect. Arriving in the parking lot at 7 am (as requested) found that it was me and one other car in the lot!  I started to wonder if I had made a mistake in what I read.  Oh well, a little radio time and a little snoozing gave folks a chance to arrive by 7:15.

This is where the day got interesting. There were about 80 people milling around throughout the course of the morning. It was a great time to meet folks that I had not met before and for a few of them to take this noob by the hand and show me the ropes. Registration went without a hitch and I had a chance to meet up with Gerrit, Paul and Darrin to toss a few practice puts prior to the start of the day.

At about 8:30 we had a players meeting where the various rules were discussed that were specific to this course and then given 15 minutes to work our way to our starting hole. Unfortunately, I was not assigned a group with any one I knew and so I trudged on to hole 15 to start my first round. I won’t say much about the round other than it was a lot of fun. I played OK, but not great.

Finishing this first round at about 11:45 we headed into a provided lunch of Pizza, Chips, Apples and Oranges along with a selection of beverages. I also took this time to divest myself of much of my clothing and put on dry socks and a dry shirt. After lunch, Gerrit, Paul and I head over to the score board to see where we stand. Gerrit was on the lead card 3 strokes out and Paul and I were in the middle of the pack. I also find that I will again be playing the afternoon round with folks I do not know (dang).

So heading out to hole 16 this time, we start the second round. I definitely play better this round and am grateful for that. It is also a wonderful afternoon with temps in the upper 60’s and low 70’s (hard to call it an ice-bowl at this point). Completing the round, we all head back to the scorers table to turn in the cards and wait for the final results.

An acquaintance of mine won the division I was in (congrats JR) and Gerrit came in tied for second. I was in 11th and Paul was in 14th. All in all it was a great day and a lot of fun with folks I had not met before. 

Lessons Learned

I did learn a couple of lessons from this tourney. The first is that I can play in these as long as I tell myself that I am only competing against myself and that it is about meeting new people and having an opportunity to spend time outdoors. Secondly, I also learned that sunscreen is made for a purpose. I got terribly burned on top of my bald head (ouch!) Lastly, I also learned that I am not 20 any more (or even 30) and that 36 holes of disc golf makes an old fart sore!

So, with this behind me, I am now looking forward to my next tournament in early May….. Bring on the “Alexander Aerial Armada”!

Every so often, I run into a video that makes me think “WHY??!!”, such as the video promoting the goatee form to be used when shaving or the jet powered water pack.

I have yet to decide if this one fits into that category, but it does seem like a good way to kill off a cold and rainy evening.

(p.s. I wonder if Ruth will let me put soap and water on our dining room table??)

As some of you may have realized by now, Ruth and I have gotten somewhat addicted to the game of Disc Golf. I take most of the blame for this as I got introduced to the game many years ago before we got married. At that time, the closest course was 20+ miles away and, being a newlywed, I had better things to do with my time.

Anyway, fast forward 18 years, and a friend invites me out to play a local course that is within 5 miles of the house and the addiction begins again. Only this time, I invite my wife to play along with me. This is a great time for the two of us to get on the course and spend some quality time together away from all of life’s distractions.

So, now you ask, why all of this history and what does any of this have to do with that strange looking contraption pictured to the left? Well, you see, my wife is a little bit competitive. And while she can throw a driver a good distance (about 200 feet), her close range accuracy suffers. During one round I mentioned that they sell portable baskets (what you thought was a strange looking bird feeder is actually a disc golf practice basket)that we could set up in our back yard that would allow the both of us to practice our short games. Ruth was delighted with the idea and I ordered the basket that evening. With practice, Ruth figures she can shave 10 strokes off of her score by making the close range putts she misses now.  This will also allow us to spend time practicing when we are unable to get to the course because of my work load or because of the weather.

By the way, the two discs in the basket at the left is a very rare sight. I made both of these puts just before taking the photo….

Farewell old friend. You were my first, but not my last. In my memory you will always reside. Though you had been recently retired expecting never to fly again, you were never forgotten. Recently pulled out of the drawer, you again reached for the skies. With laser like accuracy and distance unexpected you again became my work-horse. Hyzer, anhyser, flips and flicks you flew bravely along. To again teach an old dog new tricks.

Then came that fateful throw. Water down the right side of the fairway and a grip lock toss in which you sailed far beyond your means. With a single minded purpose, you headed towards your watery demise. Ignoring the screams of “look out” and “Oh No, not again!” you determinedly flew on.

Running to the shores edge to wish you goodbye, you were vainly trying to stay afloat. A myriad of rescue efforts were launched that, ultimately, failed and you slowly sank to the bottom. With tears in my eyes, I bid you a fond farewell and hope, someday, you will be resurrected again to fulfill your dreams of blue skies and long true courses and the days as a submarine become as a faded dream. So, to my trusted Valkyrie, I bid you a sad adieu.

The Champ is beaten!!!

Pssst, hey buddy, over here.  Yeah, you!  Can you take this story to my editor?  It seems that someone is trying to prevent me from filing it. Late night phone calls where no one is on the line. Golf discs with huge chunks taken out of them laying on my pillow. Even the tires of my scooter being slashed.  It just seems that some one does not want this story being told. You can??!!  Thanks buddy!  Please tell my editor that I am going undercover, but that I will file additional stories when I can…. I really appreciate it!

(AP) Snellville – Many of my faithful readers have been wondering what has been happening in the competitive world of championship disc golf during this off season. Stories of “the Champ’s” late nights and wild parties have been abounding, however, the truth is much more startling.

It seems that the champ has been secretly developing a new weapon to use against his competitors. Every time this reporter got close, the goofy smiles disappear and a sinister looks arrive. Trying to get onto the courses during practice rounds was proving to be quite difficult as every time I showed up, he was just leaving… or vice versa.  One wonders what the champ has up his sleeve.

Rumors were flying during the weekend that the Champ was going to be travelling to a nearby course to take on his two closest rivals, “the Gub” Gubser and “Big Gun” Van Vranken. With this intel in hand, I was finally able to catch the champ in action. In order to be unseen and observe the action I had to take on a disguise that would be unnoticed on any disc golf course (see picture inset left).

The round started off relatively early in the day with our three competitors trying to get warm prior to stepping to the first tee. “the Gub” stepped up first and fired a laser shot through the trees giving him an easy birdie on the first hole. “Big Gun” stepped up next and fired another laser through the trees also giving him an easy birdie. The champ confidently strode to the first tee and threw a rocket shot right into a tree with a loud THWACK! This left the champ with a difficult and awkward second shot to the basket which the champ pulled off to save par.  From here on out, it was “big Gun’s” day as he made shot after shot while the Champ chopped his way through the trees. At the end, the champ was defeated by 9 strokes and lead the other two players to give him a new nick name…. From now on, he will be known as the “defective woodpecker”.  ( this reporter was told afterwards that it was due to the champ hitting many trees only once..) It should be noted that the “woodpecker” tied “the Gub” on this day. During an after-match interview “the Gub” said that this was due to the “woodpecker” being a ‘Russian Tourist-Playboy with a big camera gun”. It’s okay, I don’t understand it either!

Later in the day, the “Woodpecker” played another course with “Petal” Rose. I once again donned my disguise and followed the action. During this match, the woodpecker played a tremendous match edging out “Petal” by 1 stroke on the first 18 and by 2 stroked on the next 18. It was at this time that I think I figured out the “woodpeckers’ secret weapon… AN AXE! The course he was playing on had no trees! Apparently the “woodpecker” has been living up to his name and clear cutting the course. I wonder what Green-Peace will have to say about this?

Editorial Note : After receiving the above story, this paper has lost all contact with our reporter. Apparently at the end of his 54th hole the “Woodpecker” walked over to the nearest trash can to throw away his water bottle and Milky Way wrapper and uncovered our hidden reporter. Witnesses describe our reporter screaming “Please don’t compact me!” as he was being dragged off the course. If you have information as to his whereabouts, please contact this paper or your local authorities.

For the past couple of weeks I have been having fun with the folks I have been playing disc golf with by providing “news” reports on our ongoing games. I thought I would include a couple of them here prior to posting my next one.

Posted on 12/22

Mike Wimps Out!!

(AP) Snellville – Legendary (in his own mind) disc golfer Mike McKennon stunned the sports world when he announced that he was not going to be playing a round today. Unconfirmed reports have him stating “it is too stinking cold to play”, leading to speculation that he is a wimp. When trying to reach the champ for comment his lawyer had this to say “reports of my client huddling in bed with his blankey and a hot drink are simply not true!!”   However, photos surfaced later in the day showing him in his woolen footie pajamas and huddling under an electric blanket. Speculation indicates that he might try and play again tomorrow when the temperature returns to a more normal level.

Posted on 12/22

Mike Plays Again!!

(AP) Snellville – Our Bureau chief in Snellville Georgia reports that renowned disc golfer Mike McKennon will be making a surprise appearance at Lenora Church Disc Golf Park at 2pm today. According to his press agent, Mike intends to take on all comers who dare to show their faces at this time.

Posted on 12/23

Does the Champ Cheat?

(AP) Snellville – Today’s sporting world was rocked by allegations that Champion Mike McKennon rigged his ‘open’ challenge by engaging in germ warfare. According to challenger Bruce “The Gub” Gubser “The Champ is a poser because he had inside information that his primary challenger was Ill”.  Mike’s legal counsel responded forcibly “we categorically deny any wrong doing in this case and the vials found in his garbage were planted by unscrupulous people.”  Another unnamed competitor also questioned the mysterious absence of challenger Paul “Petal” Rose citing how curious it was that the “Petal” had to be in Dahlonega two days before Christmas.

With the controversy overshadowing the match, Mike faced his challengers of Bruce “The Gub” Gubser, Phillip “Woodwind” Gubser, and Bob “Boomer” Felts.  The match was going great until hole 10 when “The Gub” started to complain of a mystery illness and faded out of the competition by hole 13.  “Boomer” fell of the competition next when his putter quick sticking to the chains. Eyebrows were raised when a foreign substance was found that was later identified as WD-40. When asked how this could of possibly happened “Boomer” responded “all I know is that I set the bag down to make a drive and then the putter quick working”. Seeing all of this happen “Woodwind’s” confidence appeared shaken and by hole 16 he was done. This allowed the champ to squeak out a close victory.

After the match, tourney officials demanded an immediate rematch to be taken place immediately upon the recovery of the ill participants and the disclosure that the champ was wearing illegal clothing (presumed to be his footie pajamas). Mike responded that this was fine with him and that he will be spending the next few days working on his game to be in top form for this match. He also announced that he will be on the links on December 24^th at 1pm for any who would like to learn from his expertise.

Editorial retraction – the reported wrongly attributed “boomer” to Mr.. Felts. His attorney responded with a letter demanding that this nick name be removed as his client was is not now, or ever has been, a girl. This newspaper sincerely apologized to Mr.. Felts and his family and will hence forth use his appropriate nick name of Bob “the Bomb” Felts.

Posted on 12/26

The “Champ” is injured!!

(AP) Snellville – The champ held an open practice session today at Lenora Park that welcomed all comers. In attendance was “The Bomb” Felts, “Woodwind” Gubser, “The Gub” Gubser along with the champ. They were joined by newcomers “Ravaging” Ruth McKennon, Connor “the Kid” Van Vranken, Gerrit “Big Gun” Van Vranken and rookie sensation Carolyn “Smiles” Gubser. 

The day started warm and overcast with a slight drizzle, which reflected the mood of the participants as it was revealed that the champ was fighting a groin injury. This intrepid reporter discovered that the problem was really that the champ’s footie pajamas were in the wash and he was missing that warm, fuzzy feeling.

Progress on the front 9 was slow until “Big Gun”, “the Kid” and an unnamed player decided to play ahead after 5 holes.  By hole 9 “Smiles” was starting to frown and decided to drop out as well. This left the champ in a great position to still carry the day with little trouble.

As this was a warm-up match, not much else is recorded other than the odd breezes that seemed to affect all of the competitors other than the champ. Much discussion was had among the competitors as to the champ’s good fortune leading the champ’s wife to mutter “I guess I should not have served him chili last night”.

During the post match press conference, the champ again invited all comers to head out to Lenora Park again on Saturday the 27^th at 1pm for another shot at the champ.  This intrepid reported will be there attempting to uncover the champ’s secrets and to find his secret stash of WD-40.